Default Configuration

We are all born with a default configuration. Or maybe not born, we are born as originals. But get booted with the default configuration just when we are around 3-4 years and start going to school. We have to study well (textbook knowledge of course but that is a whole different topic of discussion), get good grades, choose a lucrative career (doctor and engineer being the top choices), get a job, get married, have a kid, have a 2^nd kid, work your ass off for few more years (in the meanwhile installing default configuration in your kids – might be a upgraded version but still a default configuration), retire, marry off your kids, play with their kids and sit in your rocking chair while waiting for system to shutdown.

But what if you DO NOT want to get married or maybe you do not want to become an ENGINEER or a DOCTOR or KIDS!! – No Ways. Well you will not have it easy. That’s a downgrade over your configuration. Maybe you are not good enough to find a suitable match? Rejected by a guy? Too ambitious to give time to marriage or kids? Not able to have kids? Not good enough to become a DOCTOR? These are the voices of the hundreds of people that surround us in the so-called society that we live in and then over time the voices start to resonate in your head and then they become real like they are your own. Self-doubt creeps in and feeds on your happiness, which was not your choice when you decided to deviate from the default configuration.

You wanted to make a name for yourself in the corporate world and getting married was the last item on your agenda. You loved to sing and dance and enact and since you remember wanted to be an actor. You loved to solo-travel and settling with a family was the last destination on your itinerary. You made those conscious choices to shape your life the way you wanted it to be. Or maybe you did not plan for it but ended up here. Is it so bad? It is not the default for sure which makes it not normal. But who said normal is good. We have always been asked to stand out, do extra ordinary things, be remembered for something – something YOU.

Now is the time to embrace it, embrace the unique YOU and YOUR CHOICES. Life is about experiences - good and bad, joy & happiness, having that heart paced up, smiling and shedding some tears, celebrations, adventures, excitement for all the firsts, imagining, breathing and living. Can be on your journey to Mount Tibidabo or tossing your child up and catching mid-air. Can be sharing new experiences with your travel mates or reliving old ones with your loved ones. Can be the thrill of a one-night stand or the cozy comfort of a spouse / equivalent.

Just remember it is not a downgrade. If it is not a default, it is always an upgrade. Because you chose it to be so.

Leap of Faith

At 20th floor, she felt like she was at the top of the world..

She felt like she ruled it. It was her final leap of faith.

She could feel the fresh air on her face, the wind blowing in her hair..

She felt light again, like she did when she was a child, innocent, unburdened by any of the worldly inclinations..

She felt sensuous again, with her flared skirt touching the inner thighs, his image flashed in front of her eyes for a moment as brief as was her relationship with him.

She wasn't sure if he was worth it, if anything was worth it..

But she wanted to take a chance, wanted to fly again.. And she did, but for a very brief moment..

Perfect Wedding

It was the biggest day of her life. 

The lights, the flowers, her dress, makeup, everything was as perfect as she had always imagined it to be.

She sat in the room waiting for her mother's signal, looking at the mirror and gleaming in her own glory as if she was about to be throned.

Probably that is what it meant for her. It is was her much awaited wedding day.

Finally the signal came and slowly and gracefully she took her seat at the stage, glazing through crowd to recognize the known faces.

Surprisingly there weren't many, she winked at her friends and smiled at the known faces. Until her eyes fell on him. He wasn't invited, she was sure. 

Suddenly her expression changed. It wasn't so perfect anymore. 

Having the "Perfect weddings" is not so difficult if you know what makes it perfect!

"Shillonging"

Summer breaks, winter breaks, term breaks.. And we got a sense of what Shillonging was all about.. Par woh toh bas trailer tha jaani! Now that we have left that beautiful green piece of land forever forever types, the full movie of Shillonging is slowing unfolding in front of our eyes! Oh, and the breath taking beauty that it is, it only makes Shillonging a more blissful endurance. This post is dedicated ‘not to Shillong’ but to my lovely age-old flatmate, who has completely driven me crazy from more than a month now, starting every day with Shillong and going on and on about it until she closes her eyes and her mouth to sleep in the night! This is for you Sharanya..

So here is how it all started. We walk into the tiny winy campus, lush green and wet with rains, and of course, unknown from what it holds in store for us. Well yes, like every other college and like every other hostel, we knew we would make friends, have crazy moments in class, burn the mid night oil for exams, achieve our dreams, do random masti in hostel, have night outs discussing our crushes, fall in love, gossip about god knows what not, eat out at all possible places, watch angrezi series and discuss the depth of movies and books and all that.. And yes, we did all of that.. But that is not what defines Shillonging. Shillonging is something beyond. Read on to experience for those who have not yet been blessed to be there, and to relive for those who are still Shillonging in their respective cities!

So we know (atleast I hope those reading this know) that Shillong is in one corner of India and not very well connected to the rest of India. It was troublesome for us indeed in the beginning but that was a blessing in disguise for us. Thanks to the distance, we celebrated all our festivals from Diwali to Holi, from Janmashtmi to Sankranti, from Durga Puja to Ganeshotsav, in that small green campus of ours in our own small IIM Shillong family. Be it the extravaganzas of Cult Comm’s Diwali preparations or the next door cook’s sweet pongal or the most enthusiastic bhakt’s room turned into a temple, home was never away. Even the home food was not away with a Mallika and a Sonal on each floor and even a Hemanth in the boy’s hostel! To feel like home away from home and to experience unity in diversity every day of the life, that’s Shillonging!

Picture Credits: Vaibhav Annam (PGP12)

Having said that let me tell you that the ‘away’ part is also very interesting, infact to be specific, very adventurous. No doubt people know that Shillong is a beautiful place, Cherrapunji with the second highest rainfall is a must see and all.. Of course we did utilize all our weekends and holidays to cover all the places listed on map and searchable on google but to add to that we have explored our own locations and put them on map! Now that’s adventure. Going through the unknown route just to get lost and have the pleasure of finding the way out, that’s excitement. The rush that we get every time we put on our shoes and carry our backpack to explore the unknown, that’s Shillonging!

I can go on and on about the beauty of Shillong but some things really cannot be put in words. It is something which has to be experienced even if it means taking a flight to Guwahati, then a cab to Shillong, stopping at Makhanbhog for lunch then throwing up all that we had eaten and yet craving to reach the destination. When the session starts in July, we are awed by the greenery and the music of rains. By October we are covered by two or even three layers of sweaters. By February we start to enjoy the wild winds disrupting our badminton sessions. And before we can realize that summer is here, it starts to rain again. And all throughout, our early morning and late night walks, help us enjoy it to the fullest. Assignments and submissions, exams and preparations, events and competitions, celebrations and misunderstandings, proposals and breakups, everything included a walk in the campus. If none of these, then definitely a walk in the campus! Enjoying the beauty of the campus as the leaves turn from green to pink and back to green again, that’s Shillonging!

Picture Credits: Jitesh Patel (PGP10)

We live in the small boundary of the campus but we have mastered the art of gathering our moments from small things in life. Walking on golf course taking pleasure as the dew on the grass wets our clothes, standing on heels in a fully occupied auditorium just to get a glimpse of Mr. Kalam, lighting up a bonfire and sending across a mail whenever you want to party, arranging for Kakoty sir’s extra classes just to get some more perspectives on life, waiting for a friend’s birthday to make the most embarrassing birthday invite, taking a cab to random places just to find out where the taxi goes to, shouting for our Kopda team like it is more important than India in World Cup, waiting for a “Hungry Kya?” or “Eat fresh, Subway!” mail to pop up right when you want it to, stare in the open skies for hours together enjoying the stars in the silence of the night, and now keep recollecting those times for all these small things, that’s Shillonging!

Do share your moments in comments to add more meaning to Shillonging, for I know how close it is to each one of us!

PS: All credits to Mr. Jitesh Patel for giving us one word to express exactly what we feel.. That’s Shillonging!

And she smiles again...

Long long time ago when I was really small, she said “Chane ke khet mein” and I said “Main Madhuri Dixit banna chahti hoon”! This post is dedicated to the greatest on screen dancer and my all-time inspiration, for her Ghaghra takes my heart away, all over again..

Twenty five years ago, she counted “Ek do teen” and in a flash of a second Mohini became synonymous to dream girl. She said “Dhak dhak karne laga” and I bet the entire generation of young men felt it too. She said “Didi tera devar deewana” and the counterpart generation of girls went backless! With “Choli ke peechhe kya hai” she pulled-off a deadly item song with her magical innocence. And then with “humko aaj kal hai intezaar” suddenly fishing nets became so sexy. With the numerous pieces following in Saajan, Raja, Prem Granth, Koyla, Dil toh Pagal hai, she was all set to break records and win hearts. But before anyone could frame her as the classical dancing diva, she set the stage on fire with dance master Prabhu Deva. And then with the numerous sequences in Devdas, which for the record no living or dead actress could have done justice to, she set new standards for dancing in Bollywood. Time passed, and just when we thought that the Dhooms and Beedis had taken over, she came back and said “Aaja Nachle” and filled new hope in the hearts of many aspiring dancers (well, not just in the movie). And now again with her seductive moves, evergreen turns, eye squinching expressions and the flowing Ghaghra in Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani, she has just portrayed that there is no age for dancing, for beauty or for grace!

Every time I look at her performing, I fall in love with her all over again. She has redefined seduction by comfortably blending it with the right amount of grace and charm. I wonder at times, what is it that clicked for her - her phenomenal acting prowess, her much talked about dancing moves, her scintillating beauty, her charming smile or maybe it was just her luck? Whom am I kidding, how is it that only the most talented people get lucky! It appears as if she was born to do this. I guess that is what perfection does to you. Sachin Tendulkar was born for cricket and Lata Mangeshkar was born to sing. But they really didn’t know it the day they were born. They learnt it over a period of time as they perfected what they really liked and ultimately became the best in them, so did Madhuri Dixit! Luck can give you a break but not the power to rule the hearts of millions of people for such a long time, be it Sachin Tendulkar or Madhuri Dixit. Having said that, “Main Madhuri Dixit banna chahti hoon” makes lot more sense. Not to be the dancer that she is but to be the perfectionist that she is!

-A follower of her steps (literally and figuratively)

As this road ends

As another of my closest friends left the green corridors of IIM Shillong today, it reminded me of those difficult yet memorable times of engineering when every train that left Nagpur Railway Station left a drop in the eye, holding to the rim of the eye like I would like to hold to the infinite moments small and big which made my college days extraordinary! I want to dedicate this post to the last two years at IIM Shillong, the stupendous times that I shared in this serene place with such Incredible people and all those nothings that added up to make something today!

To the few very special people who touched my life:

Ankita: I love you for being my constant support and the maturity you have shown in handling situations and people with your “maa to maasi tak ka gyaan”

Aritra: I love you for the absolute dedication you show in your work and the picture perfect ppts which gave me the incredible War Room experience J

Janaki: I love you for the simple yet bright, caring yet strong, charming yet homely human being and the perfect role model that you have been

Mallika: I love you for the way you lit every moment with your bubbly cheer, be it “Jab G met” or our trio girls meet or every time you peeked into my room

Nidhi: I love you for sharing your laughter with me and the immaculate creativity you put in every small-big task you do

Nimesh: I love you for your urge for learning and getting new experiences which motivated me to follow that path and experience a new way of self-driven learning

Noopur: I love you for the simplicity through which you smile through everything and also spread your smiles to people around you

Shalini: I love you for the boundless energy and enthusiasm with which you move around and are able to indulge others also into doing so

Shantanu: I love you for the enthusiasm you showcased in all the fun filled trips you organized and the amazing night long chats we had in your room

Shipra: I love you for the way you come calling for me… “SOoooTI…” and make the day special by sharing few moments as genuine as the person that you are

Shukla: I love you for all teasing and leg pulling which made these two years a joyous ride and for motivating me to give a serious thought to marketing

Sunayna: I love you for being my alter ego and sharing my deep most concerns and thoughts in a way none can comprehend and reciprocate

Tarun: I love you for being the inspiration for giving 100% to whatever one does and excelling in everything with perfection

To the few special times which will be terribly missed:

Jab G met: All those full filled group G meetings when we started from scratch and made classic ppts with weird ideas, arguments and counter arguments being thrown from all sides only to be made more interesting by the background musical score by Debasish and the sound of Mallika’s laughter. Those times when I fought with Kamal, worked overnight with Shipra, presented those ppts with a touch of emotions, compared them with Group B and Group F ppts and reworked ours to match their standards.. Ohh.. I would so miss all those times!

@ IT Room: Be it the heated arguments for system upgrades, sending mails, meeting Basav or the IT Comm style parties which we initiated, this room and the people who participated in the proceedings there will always be special. As a rare occurrence, they helped me look into my shortcomings and work on them, to them I am highly indebted. With people so highly motivated, selfless, down to earth, emotional and simple, it was a unique experience of working in a team.

Club meet @ Gym: Now those were times when you wonder whether it is worth arguing for the time that you are killing, with someone as Piyush next to you, arguments were never a cake walk. Right from the time when Jitesh posed the option of flat hierarchy to the time when we met for deciding the name of the club, taking a decision never looked more difficult. But with passion we worked and with similar passion we argued, for each believed in his thoughts and had the conviction to turn it into action. There might be not be a very emotional connect but there is massive professional admiration which makes it an important part of the journey.

Green plate & more: The secret find of a delicious hangout place played a major role in making the tiresome primary research adventures with Shipra and Aritra bearable. With our hangouts going beyond Green plate, our friendship also moved beyond group work and competitions. The times we shared in Aritra’s room, watching God-Knows-What and discussing the whole world around will be terribly missed. Shipra calling out SOTIiii from a distance and then finding me half asleep on my bed, sending me songs to forward to Papa, cracking witty one liners on everything I say, will be missed. Aritra sharing ppt excerpts with me, me pulling his leg on his love life and at the end even being a victim to his overdose of cribbing, will all be missed.

E-2 & beyond: From the times we fought to decide who would open the door or fill water in the jug to the threats of non-cooperation movement at times of differences, the times spent in E-2 with Ankita were really close to heart. To list those times will be difficult for it is difficult to put to words how you cared for me at times of distress, brought up my spirits when I was low, wiped my tears when I was sad, and gave me life back when I was lost. Your constant companionship and support only made my 2^nd year sweeter and made it more difficult to part with this place. How much would I miss ordering someone to cook for me at any odd hour of the day and even night and expect someone to bring me a muffin every time I miss a meal and over sleep, which I do quite often!

Sleepless nights & late mornings: Ohh.. How I would miss walking into the next door to Sunayna, to check if she has slept at night and try to indulge her into a random conversation about life or to check if she has woken up in the morning to feel good that there is someone on a similar undisciplined schedule as you. Ohh.. How I would miss talking about something deep and random and getting that honest expression from someone that she feels exactly the same about the matter. Ohh.. How I would miss having a partner in crime for all the crazy desires and plans we made. Ohh.. How I would miss my alter ego, is beyond something even I or you can understand to be able to put it in words.

Evergreen Random Bakar: Well I had heard people say that many nothings can add up to great somethings which become important in life. For all the times shared with Colors Pariwar in Shantanu’s, Tarun’s, Shukla’s or even Nidhi’s room, reinforced the significance of this thought. The times when Shukla or Nimesh would endlessly pull my leg, when Sunayna would remain silent to avoid going against me in a discussion, Nidhi’s +1s and Shukla’s cribbing on them, Shantanu’s constant attempts to get us out of our rooms and Tarun’s passion for photography, Kopda and also beyond always kept us occupied with something to do and build memories about. Ohh.. What would be this life without these somethings is difficult to explain!

Competitions & beyond: Right from the time Shalini and I hit the jackpot with TVEs to the awe inspiring War room moment in Mumbai, competitions were always challenging as well as bakar fun. The time spent Ideating with Nimesh on Britannia case, ufff.. What crazy time with those one liners and out of the box concepts! Then wacky ideas! He made fun of us but at the same time showed us path. Competitions remind me of the most random trip I made with Jasdeep and Tarun to Laitlum. What scenic beauty with the clean blue sky and fresh cool breeze, it was my first tryst with the natural beauty of Shillong! As I walk into the corporate world, I would so miss working with such a unique mix of people on random business challenges and believe that together we will be able to handle the situation.

Footsteps & the Reminiscences: I remember the first assignment of 10 pager we got during footsteps. That was only a start to the roller coaster ride we had during that one sweet horrible week. Ohh.. How much we struggled to complete those 10 pages! That Harish’s speech with 4 F’s, Jitesh’s knowledge sharing sessions, friend requests from seniors and the following rumours, Hustle-bustle of Club Committee induction, the return trip to Hyderabad with seniors, those Ranbhoomi days and the overnight badminton rounds, Kopda and the cheering, masti on the Golf Course, random outings to PB, infinite trips to enjoy nature, those birthday celebrations and GPL and Salsa, the bon fire and the DJ parties, that classroom drama with Natalie’s nursery sessions and Joshi’s Boardroom role plays, those night classes before exams by experts which helped us pass, those claps in class and those tch tch tch tchs…

Too much to gather, too much to fathom.. I rest my emotions for I can go no longer.

10 pager sounds easier! Now if I recollect, I can go on and on without count, on my life @ IIM Shillong itself. That is what makes it so special. Ohh.. I would so miss this place.

Who's the lucky one?

“Seriously, what did you see in him?”

Radhika was not being asked this for the first time. With those perfect curves, a beautiful face which is no less than a delight to watch, and the smile which glows up the entire room, she was an eye turner for sure. Nitin on the contrary was a sleek, unattractive figure who seemed to have lived carelessly without the slightest knowledge of muscles throughout his life. No matter how mismatched they looked, it seemed like they were deeply in love.

“He makes me laugh, I am happy when he is around”

Anybody who knew Nitin would agree with this. He was the most hilarious person many would have known, with humour flowing every minute of his presence. A humour devoid of sarcasm, a humour devoid of tantalism, a humour so pure that it could hurt no one but only make them laugh. In spite of his odd humour, people used to laugh with him and never on him.

It had been a decade since the two got married against their families’ wishes and were staying in Mumbai without any children as per the Almighty’s will. Nitin worked in the media industry as an analyst and was very happy with his job, no matter it was in his nature to be happy about whatever he did. Radhika gave up her high paying job as a senior consultant just a few years into marriage when she found it becoming challenging and realised she wasn’t able to spend time with Nitin. She was asked the same thing then, “What do you see in him?” And her reply was the same, “He makes me happy”.

Yet with so many hurdles and inadequacies they seemed to be the happiest couple around. People envied them but never really understood why, for they had nothing which others could not have.

“I think I will never be a mother”, Radhika faced her worst fears one day as she buried herself into Nitin’s arms, weeping.

“Mother Teresa was never a mother, but none could have found a better mother than her. She was the symbol of impartial care and love, immovable faith and hope, unfathomable motherhood.”

Radhika stopped crying and looked at Nitin.

“You know why I am telling you this?”

She nodded gently wiping off her face.

“Because you represent gentleness of that remarkable level. You take care of ME when I act childish.”

She smiled faintly.

“Okay, you don’t believe me. You forgot our neighbour Padma’s daughter, she couldn’t let go of you. And your friend Rekha’s kids, they were inseparable every time she left with you to take care. And my Chacha’s son Bapun, your kaka’s daughter Simi, your Hyderabad aunt’s nephew, my distant cousin Rita’s daughter, your own loving sister’s kids….”

The tears had vanished and Radhika very well understood what Nitin was trying to do but that didn’t prevent her from smiling.

"… Also your phuphere mama’s daughter’s son Kittu, our last landlord Shyamji’s daughter Nippo, my friend Jessica’s brother’s kids Momo and Yoyo, oh yes and how can we forget our old neighbour Radha’s twins Rock and Roll, how they used to dance for you whenever you called them by these names that you game them. Rock ‘n’ Roll!?!? Seriously what were you thinking!”

“Well, I have seen them grow and it was surprisingly funny that in spite of all the physical resemblance, one wouldn’t move while the other kept on crawling, rolling all the time. I can’t believe they still have these names on all their twin clothes!”

And they both started laughing so hard without stop for a long time and the room was filled with laughter. All their worries and troubles had this secret passage made up of happiness and laughter to guide themselves out of their lives.

Today that passage was destroyed as was Nitin’s strength and Radhika’s cheer. Their journey together had shockingly come to an unwanted end. People stood around as the room was filled with what seemed like a never ending silence. There was nothing anyone could have done, for it couldn’t have been a more tragic end. Radhika was hit with a speeding car while coming back from the market and took her last breath on the way to hospital. As she lied bruised motionless on the floor, Nitin’s eyes were filled with deep regret and helplessness. Today was the first time she hadn’t laughed, today was the first time he wasn’t trying to.

No one knew what to say, it had always been Nitin’s job to comfort people, to cheer them up.

“How are you holding up man?”

He didn’t move, tears rolled down and he couldn’t stop them.

“It will be okay.”

He still didn’t move. It was like end of world for Nitin.

Finally his voice broke, “All I had lived for was to make her laugh.”

And people realised what she saw in him.

Relationships are not about having, they are about giving. One is only as happy and as lucky as the other half.